it's the plank for the likes of you.

Zee has been into pirates lately. She goes around the house chirping, "Ahoy, mateys!"

I finally ask her, "Is that what pirates say?"

"Nooo."

"Then what do pirates say?"

"Aaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrr".

well, it's been a while, hasn't it?

A friend who is positioning herself to become the next Marisha Pessl (or someone similar) has shamed me into posting a blog update. I am not going to make excuses, but I will say that there has been a significant amount of deep thought and reevalution. Basically, that means I've gotten myself a new job, one that hopefully will give me some management experience (I've got a staff of three, woohoo!) and more of a work/life balance.

I'd like to throw out there that Jane Austen is the first celebrity chick-lit author. Of course I'm right.

when books go bad

There have been an alarming number of recently released books dedicated to the occupation of motherhood. Books detailing the "war" between stay-at-home and working moms, the agonies of raising a child in upper middle class society, and so on, and so on, and so on.

I've made the executive decision to neither purchase nor borrow any of these mommy books because all they will do is cause self-doubt. Parenting is hard enough without the background chorus calling into question your every decision. The best feedback? Hearing your babes laugh every single day, and really laugh.

In other news, Mr. O is now the proud owner of one emerging bottom tooth. We have lift-off! He loves the outer space sticky on his wall. I was delighted to see that it had glow in the dark stars. It rocks the free world.

I caved and bought Zee a Dora the Explorer dvd. This one features a pirate episode with tons more music than usual. It's pop opera for the minis.

okay, now back to the house

we did buy a house! I was going to chronicle the process, but there really wasn't much to talk about. We're moving to a neighborhood in the city called Portage Park, which no one knows about and there's not a Starbucks in walking distance. So what it lacks in sheer hipness, the house more than makes up for it. It's a 1909 American 4-square - well-proportioned, a tasteful blue-grey in exterior color and with some original woodwork inside. It's not a huge house at 1400 sf or so, but it's just enough house for us and it felt good.

We've been talking up the blue-grey house to Z, and though she seems excited by it, she'll probably bunk with us for a week. She's been more clingy than usual lately and gave the new (and probably never returning) babysitter a lot of hell yesterday. D-money thinks she was disappointed that she wasn't spending the day with Mommy and was acting out. Good grief. Can I do anything without her freaking out?

The unfortunate, or maybe not, thing is that she is so dialed into my moods that they affect her more than I'd like. I've been tired and pensive lately and probably not the fun mommy of legend and lore.

I made some little Easter baskets for Z and O. Very modest with a few toys and books and candy that D-money and I are going to pilfer for ourselves. For D-money, I got a chocolate Peeps egg, which has to go down in history as one of the best ideas EVER. Did you hear me? EVER.

rollin' OX

OX's latest project is rolling over from his back to his belly. I let him have at it last night on our bed. He made all kinds of loud noises - yelps, squeals and grunts. He's almost got it; he just needs to get that one arm out of his way. And, when he does get close, he seems angry that his body betrayed him and flipped him over without his permission.

In other news, Zee went on her first field trip yesterday to the Shedd Aquarium. I had no feedback other than she was in a great mood when I went to pick them up. She likes these excursions, and on Saturday we may go to one of the children's museums or the nature museum in Lincoln Park for some mommy and Zee time.

he does NOT.

D-Money just said that OX looks exactly like...Yul Brynner.

No comment.

new topic: The Househunt

We've decided to become fully functioning adults by purchasing our first house. Now, said house has not fully presented itself to us yet, but I will be journalizing the process because it thus far has been what we call "very interesting".

oh, my baby boy.

Today is my last day of maternity leave. I'm sad. O did a series of Greatest Baby Hits today - spat up three times all over my clothes, pooped through an outfit, batted his eyes at the Baby in the Mirror - and we ended the day with him snoozing in my arms. He's my Ferdinand the Bull.

a letter to my late father

Dear Daddy,

We're barreling toward 2006, and you're not here to see it with us. I am so sorry I didn't see you more often. Truth be known, I was scared. Scared that every time I saw you, I would see that a little more of you has died. Now that you're truly gone, I wish I could have had one last conversation with you. I would tell you about how I love being a mother and how wonderfully my two children are growing up. I would tell you about how happy OX is to be alive. I would bring OX to you so you can hold your first grandson. I would bring Z. to you so you can laugh and enjoy what a special little personality she is.

For the rest of my life, not just 2006, I resolve to be as kind and generous as you were with many people beyond our family circle. You were a loved man. I think life didn't turn out the way you would've liked it to, but despite the setbacks and hard immigrant's life, you still found ways to experience joy and took pleasure in the simple things.

You and I didn't see eye to eye on many things, but I always respected your opinion. You always had perfectly logical reasons for your decisions and ideas, and I appreciate that you respected us enough to explain why we should or shouldn't do certain things. I also appreciate that you allowed me to make my own choices and not dictate how my life should go. I didn't always make the right choice, but boy, I did learn hard from my mistakes.

Please rest in peace knowing that I have a loving husband, two wonderful children and a comfortable life where we never have to worry about where our next meal is coming from and that we can afford a good life for our kids.

We love and miss you terribly. You are always in my heart.

why do babies' heads smell so good?

It's a combination of that sleep smell and baby powder. OX always smells nice. Thank God he's smiling and cooing regularly now. I was about to lose my mind.

quick thoughts on goals

What do I want to accomplish next year?

1. Find my creative outlet.

2. Write a description of my dream job/career and make it so.

3. Find a dinner catering service for weeknights so I stop obsessing about feeding the fam after doing the evil commute with cranky kids in the car.

4. Read a book every month.

5. Stick to my budget.

all is quiet on the midwestern front.

OX is taking his mid-day nap, and every once in a while he'll let out a yelp or cry. I now remember this being those sleep cries I've read about, so I no longer jostle him out of slumber to see if he's hungry or his diaper's ready to explode.

He's becoming more of a little person now. He's generally mellow; he sat peacefully in his bouncy chair last night while Zoe had her mac & cheese and I supervised. He hasn't been in the kitchen all that much and was interested in the sights and smells. He's also a strong little OX and can hold his head up for a few seconds at his tender age. He's slightly interested in the mobile that plays classical music (yep, we fell for that gimmick). He's an observer, I think, and will test things before coming to a conclusion. Whereas his sister always reacts before considering whether it really is a terrible thing or not.

I like it when Z-Bot and OX stare at each other. I was worried that she would exhibit more resentment. Luckily, she doesn't mind having him around and will go looking for him if he's crying. I've tried to give her a lot of me-time, but I have to confess that the tv is on more often than I'd like if only to give me some time to nurse him.

It's a beautiful fall in Chicago thus far. Today it's windy and sunny. It's been quite mild and definitely livable. I have to laugh at my SF friends who were wearing down jackets in 50 degree weather while I was jacket-less. I'm acclimated to the midwest!

A side note about the wedding - for the most part, everything went smoothly with the usual hiccups. It was wonderful to see R. get married and I saw a lot of old friends. The bridesmaid's dress fit. I got false eyelashes and pro makeup done, and I felt very, very pretty.

I'm really going to do it this year.

I signed up for this year's NaNoWriMo. I've been trying to finish this for three years now. Am I going to manage a 50,000 novel this November? Well, if OX decides to remain a sleepy dude, I just might crack 10,000 words.

As they say, nothing ventured, nothing gained.

newly hatched hatchling report

So far, the little man is proving to be a sleepy guy. Our usual schedule goes a little something like this:

Nurse
Burp/Belch/Poop
Change diaper
Continue to nurse (or not)
Swaddle (or not)
Cuddle until passed out - noted duly by slack jaw and limp limbs
Sleep

This is happening on a three-hour cycle. We can't complain.

I think Zee annoys him. When we get home from daycare and she's making a ruckus, he is not pleased with the increased level of noise and complains. It could be that he's also annoyed that I'm trying to make dinner and not sitting still for cuddling purposes.

I can only think that, a year from now, he'll be eating solid foods, and Zee would be almost three. Yeeeks.

style prediction

Serif fonts are going to make a comeback and look decidedly more modern than sans serif fonts. So there.

Ox is here!

The little guy decided to join us early and so made his appearance into the world at 8:44 a.m. on Saturday, October 1. Z-bot was there for the birth, and it didn't faze her one bit.

He's sleeping in the bucket right now, having just suffered multiple indignities at the pediatrician's. He looks almost exactly like the Zee when she was a wee one.

So far, we're going through the semi-sleepless nights. He's not too keen on the bassinet yet, but then again, neither was Zee, initially.

Welcome, small Ox. We have lots of love to share with you.

the waiting game

The last month of pregnancy has got to be the most painfully torturous one ever. Every waking moment is governed by a single thought - "Was that a contraction?"

I made some potato leek soup today. I have the urge to cook and freeze everything that I can, though that is being countered by the fact that I don't want to expend any energy. However, the potato leek soup is stupidly easy. Equal amounts of leeks and potatoes -- that is, one to one ratio -- enough chicken stock or water to cover everything, and crock pot on low until potatoes are mushy. Add butter and salt to taste. Puree the stuff with the appliance of your choice: blender (mine), food processor or immersion blender. Eat.

It's an overcast, rainy, humid Sunday and the house is peaceful. D-Money and Z are still napping. OX is calmly resting in my belly. He got a little excited before my prenatal yoga class but otherwise has been moving gently.

D-Money asked me what I thought his personality would be like since I know him the best out of everyone right now. I couldn't answer. I didn't know what Z was going to be like until after she was born. She was a pretty active baby in utero, but that's about I could ascertain from that point in her life. OX is not nearly as frenetic. At least, he doesn't get the hiccups that often.

I will really miss the alone time Z and I have had. I sometimes feel guilty because I don't have the energy to really give her my full attention these days, and I feel as though she may suffer from it. But, she's been as loving as her little toddler self can be. It brings tears to my eyes when she hugs me spontaneously.

counting down

In less than a month, I'll meet my son.

random moment no. 46

Z-Bot and I creeping down rush-hour LSD, singing along to Three Mo' Tenors' version of "Minnie the Moocher".

good bread

This is not a pregnancy thing. I've been into La Brea Bakery's bread. It is one of the few things I miss about L.A. I was very pleased to find their bread in one of the small markets where I used to shop when we lived in Streeterville. Now it's all over town at Jewel, and damn if the bread is STILL good even at a regular supermarket.

To describe the classic French baguette or Vienna petite loaf: the crust is not hard but firm. There is a definite crunch as you sink your teeth in. The texture of the bread itself is light and chewy but with some structure. Day-old holds up as french toast or with dip. I've frozen slices before and spread sweet butter and preserves on the thawed ones - still okay!

I've been buying the petite loafs and sharing them with Z-Bot. She likes her bread plain this week. I made a cream cheese and tomato dip for her to try, but she was not into it. More for me, then.