Thursday, June 05, 2008

shifts

Here's the story on the move.

On a whim, I applied for a job in my field for a great company that's located in San Francisco. In my mind, I thought I didn't have a shot since I live in Chicago, and this is not the kind of job for which you would recruit outside of the city. Lo and behold, I got a phone call for an interview that snowballed into a job offer. I accepted it, and have spent the last few months in cold sweats and sudden panic attacks.

Moving is one of my least favorite activities in the world. To date, I have not packed a single thing, though I have gotten rid of bagfuls of random assorted items. I have to confess that I'm overwhelmed. This would be one of the opportunities where a magical fairy being would be really, really helpful.

Z is excited about moving to San Francisco. She's looking to the future. O has no concept yet; it'll hit him after we move. Regardless, it'll be a rough year. I'm fully not expecting us to feel comfortable for a while.

I will say that, as I was randomly driving around Monday evening and cruising down streets that were slowly becoming familiar to me again, I thought, "this is home. I've run away, and now I'm coming back. but not in shame or defeat. I'm not the callow person I was when I left, and maybe I've seen far too much of a lot of things, but I'm coming back as a wiser adult. would that make things different?" I was an angry young woman when I fled for L.A., and I'm not sure how much of that anger has truly dissipated. I know better than to blame people for old wounds. Perhaps I've come back at this point in time to make peace.

1 comment:

Sarah Brown (sarahrejoice@gmail.com) said...

Amy... you are likely going to be surprised by seeing this, just as I was by stumbling across your blog. Having done a quick online search on your name after thinking about you and wondering how you were doing, this site is where the search results led me. I felt compelled to respond to this post, as your comments on returning to SF are ones that I could very closely relate to, since I am experiencing similar feelings in returning to Kentucky.

All that aside... hope you're settling in well. I know, that angst just never fully leaves... just dissipates a bit as we mature (thankfully)!

Your recent co-worker (ET Chicago),

Sarah